Very interesting track. It reminds me almost of Them Crooked Vultures. The goal was met. I'm hearing metal and blues seamlessly fused together, and the result is refreshingly unique.
That said, instruments aren't mixed very well. It sounds like everything was recorded live, but with no editing of any kind. Sections like the one at 1:40 sound awkward, and could definitely use some work in the editing room. The solo at around the five minute mark also fell flat for me. I also didn't really like the vocal work. It sounded like yelling, and the lyrics weren't very easy to understand. I suspect that may have a little to do with lack of editing, but I'm not sure. It's been a LONG time since I recorded anything.
As you noticed, we're still in the process of mixing this. Sadly the things you're pointing out are all Robbie's domain; the strong part of almost every other band is our weak part: vocals and guitar.
It seems you just don't like the doom breaks as a whole. >:(. I don't know if I can fix that or not...
Fucking SICK. I love it. You transition really smoothly into the different parts
I thought it was well done, and I can see that you have talent. At some points, you did play a little too fast. It's important to remember that playing quickly is hard, but HEARING quickly is harder. When you play that speed, everything sounds really jumbled together and it just feels like noise, instead of music.
Your timing seems a little inconsistent as well, but I can't say for sure. You played with a really quick tempo in some places, and then slowed everything down like crazy, for no real reason. If you aren't already, definitely play to a metronome.
I also feel like this was done randomly, on a whim. I can't devise any feel or strategy behind this solo, which is disappointing. One suggestion I was given on guitar was to find another musician's solo on YouTube, and try to construct something around it. It will force you to do everything for a reason.
Overall, I do like this song, and I see a lot of potential for greatness in it. But it's too jumbled and unstructured to do anything REALLY special for me at the moment.
I didn't actually play this, I haven't been playing piano for very long. I must have forgotten to mention that.
But, as for actually composing this song, I do realize that the tempo changes can be a bit jarring. On the sheet music that I wrote this song on, it has a complete change of everything every 16 measures (you can read those changes in the description if you haven't already), which now I know isn't really a good thing to do because it does tend to confuse the listener.
I did compose this based on an idea I had, "what if I did a song where the time signature changes every few measures," but there was no real planning beyond that, which is probably why this song did end up being as schizophrenia-y as it was.
Thanks for the constructive criticism.
Honestly, you're right. Those na na na's sound awkward. I would suggest omitting them entirely, substituting a lyrical or instrumental part. Something I've also noticed is that your recording quality isn't as high as it could be. I couldn't tell you how to fix it, because I've always recorded directly into my computer. I'm not hearing background noise, so I guess it would be your mic.
Those are my only complaints though. It's a good song. I like the vocal effects, and as always, the guitar work. I wish the guitar was a little louder, or the vocals a little quieter though. It seems like the guitar is a little hard to hear sometimes, which is unfortunate.
Good guitar. Mixing needs work.
You obviously know your way around a fret-board. I wish it were louder though. The vocals should be turned down a hair, so that they match me up with the guitar, volume wise.
I really like the lyrics, and their delivery. Hopefully, we'll see a full version sometime. Because I really haven't much left to say about this, other than that I like it. =)
I think the guitar is great. My only suggestion would be to slow down a little bit. Those parts where you're tremolo picking, you should probably slow down to maybe 16th notes, or replace those parts with short muted strums, mixed with a slap to the guitar. A mini drum part, if you will. You don't want to sound out of control.
The lyrics are good, though the part at 1:02 sounds a little weird. It's a good song overall. It needs some drums and bass though. Unless you prefer the solo feel.
Oh, I plan on having it a full band effort. :P
You're not the first person who thinks I should, for lack of a better phrase, "switch it up" for the verses. I wonder...
Gets a Little Crowded
There are a couple parts where the music gets a little bit clunky, if you know what I mean. Too much going on at once. I like your drum work and instrumentals. It's nice jazz work, though a little bit more intense that most jazz. I don't quite know what it would be called other than jazz though. The brass sections sound a little bit fake. Try and mess with the tone a little bit and make them sound more crisp. That's my only suggestion for now. Good work.
I get what you mean by overcrowded,but really when the trumpets come in when it gets fast is the main "chorus" and the pan flute and such are just background. i'll be sure to tone down the latter to make sure the trumpets are heard. well,like i said in the description,it's supposed to be intense(maybe not like super complicated jazz numbers out there but still) the brass sounds fake,you say? i didn't think it did,but i'll see what i can change around with it so it can sound more clean and edgy. Thanks for the review nonetheless! =3
You're definitely improving. My main gripes, I've covered in previous reviews. The recording quality, voice, etc. So I'll not get into all of that. Just try to get some better equipment, and find a new vocalist. The parts where you get louder (it's too LAAATE) make me cringe. Avoid doing that at all costs. If you can't find a new vocalist, limit lyrics as much as you can. For inspiration that way, check out As I Lay Dying songs, such as Through Struggle.
"Only through struggle have i found rest
with a piece of me taken away
i begin to understand
hollow out this machine like chest
with its gears that turn to make me feel
and assembled thoughts that fade away
remove from me
this deception that i call love"
Those are the lyrics to a four minute song. If you don't like metal, you don't need to look up the full song. But you understand the point. If your instrumentals are strong, you've no real need for a lot of lyrics.
Your volume control is much better. Guitar solos sound awesome, and the cymbals aren't so overpowering anymore. I like the bass lines too. I don't know if you got a new bassist, or if the old one just learned some new stuff, or what. But it's much better. He stays in rhythm, adds interesting little riffs between chords, and generally does what a decent bassist should do.
None of you are pro, but you're not at all bad. Keep it up.
Thanks a lot man. Of course prepubescent singing is always annoying, so once my voice is mature I'm sure it won't sound half as bad.
Thanks for the review!
It's nice enough.
I'm noticing the same issues that I pointed out in your band's other song, regarding recording. Continue working on that.
The drums and guitar were nicely played, but the intro was a little cluttered, just because of the recording quality. It doesn't sound good. I'm trying to listen past that, but it's difficult. You play the right chords and you all play in sync. I'm not hearing fret buzz or missed chords, or missed notes. So I'm sure you sound great live.
Your voice, I'm still not a fan of. Sorry. You're a great guitarist, but your vocals could use work still.
Bass, you need to pump up the volume a tiny bit, to balance out certain parts of the song.
And for the solo, great job. A marked improvement over the last song. The drums were basic and served as a time-keeper, while you let loose with the guitar. And it sounded great. Really sounded good. Whatever you did there, KEEP doing it. Because it really worked well. If you had ended the song on one final harmonic note at the end of that solo, I would have been very happy. But you didn't. And, as Coop said, the ending was awful. Screaming and laughing is not something many people can pull off in a song. And you are not one of those few people that can do it.
Thanks a lot man, but this is pretty much a demo :P And I'm not even completely sold on this version yet! As you said, the vocal take is shit. As is the ending. So I'll definitely work on those! Thanks again for the input.
Recording Could Use Work.
It's hard to review a song when it's not recorded at a very high level. No offense intended, I totally understand that it's hard though. Good equipment is expensive. So I'll go ahead and pretend that I'm hearing this live, and ignore recording issues. Just keep tweaking it I guess.
Anyway, the vibe I'm getting is very Smashing Pumpkins. After hearing it once, I half expect you to say "the world is a vampire" at the beginning. Vocally, you really aren't that dynamic, from what I can hear. Which isn't inherently bad; Radiohead is the same way, and they're a great band. Keep working on it. Consider taking vocal lessons though. You're not bad at all. But you've got a couple little hiccups in there, that I can't describe or help you with. I'm just not a vocalist.
Drums, I'm pretty familiar with. There are a couple issues, mostly with cymbals being hit a little too soon or too early. The mixing is pretty good though. You still need to turn it down a bit though. Most of the time, I'll hear bands that go heavy on the cymbals, and they'll just drown themselves out. At that point, it's not a song. It's just noise. However, you're playing with an open hi-hat, and for that, you do need to pump up your bass and snare drums. I can barely hear them part of the time. This is all just mixing though. You'll get much better with practice. Your technique is perfectly fine.
Bass guitar, you're fine. It's a pretty simple line, but bass doesn't need to be fancy. Consider adding mini solos on occasion, constructed out of your scales. 1, 5, and 7 are pretty standard notes to use.
Guitar, you play fine, except you need to play louder. Especially on solos. The drums should be turned down and play something very simple, while the guitar gets turned up. That's the whole idea of a solo. =P I thought I heard some timing issues in the beginning, but that could be the cymbals being hit differently. It's hard to tell .
Tl;Dr: Tweak your mixing, get more dynamic vocals, hit less cymbals, play more interesting bass-lines, and turn up your guitar.
I hope this helps you. You're a decent band, especially for your age. Also note that these are only opinions based on personal taste. Like I mentioned before, there are a couple of great bands that play similar to you.
Thanks a lot man! Actually, the recording WAS live, so in the way of mixing, I wasn't able to do much.
As for the drums, I couldn't do much to bring them higher in the mix either and stuff.
The bassline is actually irritatingly simple, I wanted a different one but my bassist isn't competent enough to play the bassline I thougt up for this.
The guitar was also a victim of the whole, live recording mixing thing. I couldn't do much D:
Anyway yeah, thanks for the input, this really helped a lot. I'll request reviews again next time I upload something by my band =D
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